Quick Update

Hello, all.  I hope you're all enjoying the holiday season :).  We've had an eventful past few weeks!  Lots of celebrating - Serena is  now 11, and Cairo turned 10 yesterday.  We actually did end up going to the Poconos, after all, and it was fabulous!  Unfortunately, I ended up in the ER last Thursday night with a kidney infection while Dishon was in Oklahoma.  It was scary, but I'm on the mend.  We have Cairo's travel dates for his trip to Canada (7/2 - 7/13/13).  The many workshops I've been leading at work have been a great success, and now we're gearing up for a family road trip to spend Christmas in Charlotte, NC.  I just wanted to say hi and happy holidays to everyone.  While we're away, I'll be working on the second episode of The Watcher (finally :), and I hope to post it in early January.  Thanks for being a part of my tribe . . .

Love,

Afrika

Vicarious Fireplaces

I grew up in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn, New York.  When it was cold, our apartment was heated by radiators.  I didn’t think anything of it.  With the exception of a few friends who had homes off of Rogers Avenue as you get closer to Empire Boulevard, all of my friends lived in apartments.  I only ever remember going to a classmate’s house once, and I’d visit relatives out in Patchogue, Long Island during the summer, but those visits took place in the summer, so I wasn’t thinking about heat. 

Not so much in my neighborhood now, although I do live in the suburbs, but mostly when I’m driving Serena to gymnastics on Wednesday and Thursday nights, I have the pleasure of passing homes with fireplaces.  I LOVE the smell of fireplaces, and when we’re able to go to our special little bed and breakfast in the Poconos, it’s so great to be able to sit in front of the fireplace.  It’s just so cozy! I would love to have a fireplace in our home, but getting to be around one sometimes is also pretty nice.  

One of the most heartbreaking things for me recently is, after wanting to go to the winter celebration at our special bed and breakfast in the Poconos for the past four years, having reservations for the weekend of December 1^st for the special holiday dinner, and fantasizing about sitting in front of the fireplace when it’s actually cold, and not in the spring when we usually go for our anniversary, we realized that we actually won’t be able to go that weekend. Sigh.  

Wouldn’t it be so nice to have a money tree? That way, when we have to unexpectedly drop over $1K to fix Dishon’s car, and another $1K to fix my fractured tooth, it wouldn’t derail romantic weekends like this one. I'm keeping hope alive, though.  Maybe something miraculous will happen in the next week, and we'll still be able to go. I'm going to hold on to that reservation until we absolutely have to cancel. If we aren't able to go, there’s always next December . . .  :(  I guess, then, vicarious fireplaces will have to continue to suffice.  

The Amazing Race Weekend

On Saturday, October 27th, Randolph had its first Amazing Race as a part of our Harvest Hoopla.  We started out at Powers Farm, which is a new gathering place in the town where there’s a little playground, lots of green space, a walking trail, a covered picnic area, etc.  This was the first year for the Amazing Race.  The rules stated that no one on our team could be behind the wheel of a car at any time.  Since the buses don’t run regularly on Saturdays, and taking a taxi all over town would be costly, we decided to walk everywhere.  It wasn’t really fair, because there were teams of teenagers who had their parents drive them around to collect the clues.  In retrospect, we probably could’ve had  Dishon drive us, since the teams could be as smaller as three, and at least one person under 18, but I’m glad we didn’t use a car.

Higashi School

Our first clue led us to the Boston Higashi School.  This was really challenging because the exit was closer to where we were coming from, so we went in that way on foot, and we encountered a man who works for the Higashi school who told us that the folks at the school didn’t know anything about the race.  We thought we were at the wrong school, and started to head in another direction, but then some of the other participants had mercy on us and told us we were headed the wrong way.  The person with the next clue was at the entrance to the Higashi School, so we went back to get the clue, but lost quite a bit of time. 

Zapustas

 

The next site was Daddy’s Dairy.  Unfortunately, it was here that both kids started to complain about being tired, and we had just begun!  If we had known that we’d be doing so much walking (we didn’t know about the no driving rule until we were at Powers Farm), we would definitely had given Serena her inhaler and brought along bottles of water, but we’ll do that next year.  The next clue was verbal, and took us across town to the Zapustas Ice Arena.  There we took a bathroom break and bought lots of bottles of water from the snack bar.  

The next clue was hidden at the Elks Hall.  That clue took us to the new Memorial Field where Dishon represented the family well by kicking a soccer goal (we chose between that and a field goal).  We passed by one of the teams heading back to Powers Farm, so although we were encouraged when we saw lots of envelopes remaining at each of the sites, seeing that team heading back at that point reminded us that we were really just in it for the fun of it :).

Randolph High

  

Fire Station

The next clue led us to the pool at the HS where we had to guess how many pieces of candy corn were in a jar, and the count was the combination for the locker that contained our next clue, so we had to be precise.  The next clue took us to the fire station, and then finally back near the track where we had to choose between hitting two 3-point shots, or five 2-point shots.  We opted for the latter, and Dishon represented our family well yet again.  There was a school bus that ultimately would take us back to Powers Farm, but we decided to just go ahead and walk.  By the time we ended up back at Powers Farm, we didn’t even know where to go, because so many of the teams had already finished, and lots of other activities were going on.  So, we didn’t get the $500 prize, the $250 prize, or the dinner and a movie, but we had fun (or, at least Dishon and I did).  Next year we may have to kick our shorties to the curb, and find another person to complete our team, and let the kids just cheer us on :). 

The rest of that night was a lot of fun, too!  We were interested in the hot air balloon, but since Hurricane Sandy was coming, the weather prevented the balloon from going up, but isn’t it beautiful?  We had pizza for lunch, and after a nap, the kids got dressed up (Serena was Supergirl, and Cairo was the Green Lantern), went to the Haunted Hayride (we had the option between scary and not-so-scary, but we went all in for scary), and then to Trunk or Treat at Imagination station.  We figured that at least if Halloween was interrupted by the hurricane, the kids would have some candy.

We were at home together because of the hurricane on Monday, but thankfully, we never lost power, and didn’t experience any flooding.  It was still a little stressful, because the wind was fierce, and we are surrounded by very large pine trees.  But all was well, and our prayers go out to all who suffered loss :(.  

The Watcher, Part I

April sat across from the two women on the train and tried not to stare at them.  She felt the tension from her grimacing forehead and knew that she wasn't doing a great job of averting her glance.  She had seen them on the train before. It seemed like maybe they met up at the station and traveled into work together pretty regularly. 

"Girl, please," one woman said to the other, gently slapping her friend on the arm.  "You know my boss is not going to let me take a Friday off before a long weekend."  They were familiar.  Familiar enough for one of them to know what the other's boss was like. 

"Yeah, I know.  That's why I wouldn't even say anything to him about it.  Just call in sick.  He won't want a doctor's note if it's less than three days. You can't say no to a weekend on the Vineyard.  You know I can't pay for that whole place by myself."  Familiar.  Familiar enough for one of them to know the other's financial situation.  April sighed, and turned to the back of the Metro.  She might as well sign up for one of the medical studies.  She figured that, aside from her students, no one would miss her much if she disappeared for two weeks for a sleep study.  April scanned through the ads, stopping briefly at the one about depression.  She didn't know if she was clinically depressed, or just sad.  Was there a difference?  When the two women laughed aloud, April almost cried.  Why was it so hard to find a good friend?

She had come close several times.  It seemed like she was connecting with Robin at work. Robin was one of those down to earth women who could easily be trusted, and was quick to say yes to a girl’s night out.  She had even invited April to be part of a book club, and even though April hated the book, she endured it to enjoy Robin's company.  But Robin's position at the school was cut, and she was working in another part of the city now.  April had never been a phone person, so they tried keeping in touch through texts and Facebook.  Out of sight, out of mind took over pretty quickly, though, and she hadn't heard from Robin in over six months.  

Just before her train approached the station, she reached the back page of the Boston Metro, and found a handwritten note between the pages.  Meet me by the Dunkin Donuts.  Weird.  She was sure that note must’ve been intended for someone else.  Who would’ve even had a chance to put this note in there, though?  Just like every morning, she got her paper directly from the guy who handed the papers out to passengers as they rushed to their trains.  Morning, grab your freeee Metro.  He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would’ve written that note.  And which Dunkin Donuts?  The one at the station she left, or the one at the station she was headed to? 

April glanced down at her watch as the train pulled into the station, and realized that she had a little extra time.  What could it hurt?  She could use a little adventure.  She took the stairs two at a time and stood in front of the Dunkin Donuts just outside of the station.  People rushed out with their coffee, and in looking for their morning fix.  She stood there for five minutes, and nothing special happened.  April went in and looked around.  Everything seemed normal.  No one waiting around.  She held the door for the next person to enter the store on her way out - a teen-aged girl with tears streaming down her face. 

“Thank you,” the girl said to April.  “That’s the first nice thing that happened to me all morning.”

April looked down at the note, checked her watch again, and even though she risked being late to work, she had a prep for first period, so it wouldn’t be so bad.

“Are you okay?” April asked the girl, closing the door, and pulling her to the side near the straws and napkins.

“No,” the girl said, shaking her head and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, which April noticed was bruised.  “I’m not okay at all.  I’m in a lot of trouble.”

Motivation

Facing rejection is never easy.  I've been working on my novel, or some form of it since 1994.  I remember that summer, because it was the summer I spent as an intern with Parents magazine through the American Society of Magazine Editors (ASME).  That's a story in and of itself (quick digression: I was hoping to be placed at Essence magazine that summer, because I was sure that I wanted to write for Essence after college.  Once I realized what it would mean to start at the bottom in the magazine world [fact-checking], I was all set).

Anyway, I wrote, because I felt like I was destined to become a writer (not realizing that I already was one :).  I've been writing ever since I can remember.  A few years ago, my mom gave me a poem I wrote when I was five.  My parents gave me a diary when I was seven, and I kept a journal for years after that. I entered novel writing contests through the Massachusetts Cultural Council for years between 1997 - 2003 (fiction pieces were only considered every other year).  I entered, waited, wasn't selected, waited, entered again, waited, wasn't selected again, stopped trying for a while, got my nerve back up and entered, waited, wasn't selected, and then I stopped entering.

Years later, I joined the Christian Writers Guild, and entered their first novel contest.  I wasn't selected for that, either (which was tough, because I had purchased tickets to go to the conference at which the winner would be announced, and to network, but when I found out that I wasn't selected for anything, I lost my desire to fly out to Colorado).  It was hard to lose again, but trying to get the novel ready for entry gave me the motivation I needed to finish the first draft, and the connection with a mentor whose advice I still deeply value.  She read my manuscript and gave me some great, detailed advice about how to improve the story, which I've been working on little by little.

I have been receiving daily updates from Jeff Goins' and Joe Bunting's blogs about being a writer for a while now, and reading a bit of You Are a Writer, and Let's Write a Short Story.  I also purchased Don Miller's Storyline book, which has been transformative for me - helping me to be engage more fully  in the story that is my life (all of Afrika - not just the mom part of me). But, to be honest, I hadn't fully committed to anything, because it's just so easy to get busy with the kids, cooking dinner, shopping for picture day clothes, doing Serena's hair, reviewing homework, driving to and from gymnastics, and crashing on the weekend, that I didn't want to disappoint myself by making a commitment to really write every day.  To be even more honest, being cut from my position last spring (only to see that, although I was told that I was being cut for budgetary reasons, a new position very similar to what I had been doing was created . . . ) left me quite raw, and not anxious to go through more rejection. So I started this blog to at least write something every week, and I really enjoy blogging.

Last month, I found out about Joe Bunting's Let's Write a Short Story contest, and even though I was afraid, I entered it, and then tried not to think about.  Today, I found out that my story was the runner-up!  And it's a short story I really like, too.  I feel proud :).

What I learned today is that a little bit of winning, even if it's not first place, really helps to keep me going.  It's encouraging to know that someone read my words and thought they were interesting.  I've decided to take the leap and join Tribe Writers to find my tribe, and work through the isolation I've been feeling as a writer.  I'll let you all know how it goes . . .

Autumn

It's hard to say what I love most about the fall.  Watching the changing colors of the leaves is definitely at the top of the list - burnt oranges, burgundies, greens, all kinds of yellows . . . This weekend at our weekly celebration church service, we talked about the concept of a beautiful death.  True - the leaves are dying, but they're never more beautiful than when they're transforming.

There's definitely something special about pumpkins to me, especially the little ones.  Yesterday I discovered that another plus to fall is that it gives the kids an easy way to take on more responsibility around the house.  They both enjoyed sweeping all of the pine cones out of the driveway.

I'm really into scents, and all of the pumpkin spice and apple cider candles make the house feel so cozy.  We don't have a fireplace, but the candles feel like the next best thing.

We took the kids apple picking on Saturday.  We went to a different place than last year, and it was cool because this farm had animals (including a lama), a hay maze, and a massive hay hill (which Serena fell down several times :).  I'm really into coupons, so it helped that this farm was giving away free apple pencils if you presented the ad from the Metro newspaper.  Although picking the apples is fun, I especially like the hot apple cider donuts at the end, and seeing that, even though our kids are getting older, long car rides still put them to sleep :).

It's also pretty interesting to drag the boxes out of the crawl space so we can put away the kids' summer clothes, and take out the fall clothes from the previous year.  Each time we do this, we end up with at least four bags of clothes to give away - the summer clothes that we know they won't fit next summer, and last year's fall clothes that we hoped would still fit this fall, but didn't quite make it.

I took the kids shopping on Sunday for their picture day clothes (picture day is on October 1st), and although I usually don't enjoy shopping, I liked watching them pick out their outfits, and seeing how their personal styles are developing. Serena picked out a very cute outfit, which was no surprise for our little fashionista.  I was hoping for one outfit that would work both for picture day and an upcoming wedding, but interestingly enough, she ended up with a picture day outfit, and a party dress that wasn't quite what she wanted for picture day, but was perfect for the wedding.  Go figure ;).  I had a new experience this year.  Cairo has decided that he wants to dress up more, so we bought his dress shirt, a tie, a reversible belt, dress socks, and dress pants.  We ordered his shoes from Zappos, because the selection for dress shoes his size at Kohl's is very limited.  Thankfully, his outfit will work for picture day and the wedding :).  I can't wait to share their school pictures on the blog.

Coming attractions:

• Dishon's birthday
• Serena turns 11!
• Thanksgiving at home
• A romantic getaway to the Settler's Inn in early December
• Cairo turns 10!
• Christmas in Charlotte, NC

Enjoy the fall, everyone! :)

Settler's Inn in the Poconos.  Can't wait!!!

September 11, 2001

Disclaimer: I did not lose a loved one that day, nor am I personally affiliated with any of the first responders, (FDNY, NYPD, etc.).  The loss I've written about here is different from that of someone who lost someone that day.  It's about that day for me as someone who grew up in New York City, and spent that day wondering if my loved ones were all safe.

I was seven months pregnant.  I had just recently finished my first year of teaching in Framingham, MA, and because I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom for a while, I resigned from my teaching position to keep another teacher from being cut.  That gave me a somewhat carefree summer, enjoying my first pregnancy, which ended up requiring quite a few trips to the doctor for regular monitoring.  Serena was small, and my doctor was afraid that there might be something wrong. There wasn't.  She's just the right size.  Always has been - but the doctors didn't know that yet.

My regular morning routine was to wake up with Dishon, have breakfast with him, see him off to work, and go back to sleep.  I was in the middle of my morning nap when Dishon called, and told me to turn on the television.  I was in disbelief for a long time.  By that time, the second plane had just hit, and I just stared at the screen.  Dishon and I didn't say much to one another - I tried to describe to him what I was seeing, since I don't think he was near a television, and then I got off to call my family in New York City to make sure that everyone was okay.

My dad and sister worked (still work - my dad, just until the 28th, when he will retire) downtown

Manhattan, not very far from the World Trade Center (update: my sister passed away suddenly on January 26, 2019).  I was able to get my mom on the phone, who, at the time, was working at Brooklyn Criminal Court downtown Brooklyn.  My sister watched from the street as people jumped from the towers, and she repeatedly heard distress calls of "officer down" from a nearby radio.  I told my mom that the south tower didn't look right to me.  It looked slanted, and I was worried that it might fall, and what that might mean for my dad and sister.  Sadly, right as we were talking, the first tower collapsed.  My dad and sister were not able to get back to Brooklyn over the Brooklyn Bridge.  They stopped letting people cross, because so many people were going over the bridge that it began to sway.  My dad and sister both walked back to Brooklyn over the Manhattan Bridge.

I still can't believe it.  Eleven years later, and my heart still feels heavy.  I think the memorial is beautiful, and yet, I still have a problem accepting the new skyline.  I worked in 6 World Trade for two summers during my college breaks - the first summer for the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), and the following summer for the EEO of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF).  That second summer, the EEO was gone most of the time, and didn't leave much for me to do, so I'd entertain myself by riding the elevator in the Twin Towers up and down . . . I also spent a good deal of time in the underground mall area, and walking through to the World Financial Center to check out the shops, and have lunch by the water sometimes.  My favorite thing was to sit out on the WTC plaza and enjoy the weekly summer jazz festivals after buying lunch from the lunch trucks nearby.  The following summer, I worked a few blocks away, but would still come to the plaza.  I loved the World Trade Center area - walking down to South Street Seaport sometimes, and then returning to work in 6 World Trade . . . shopping in Century 21.  I vividly remember a second grade field trip to the observation deck and how terrified I was to look down.  It was so scary to be up that high.  Dishon and I got married on the roof of my parents' apartment building in 1997. It was right next to the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Twin Towers grace the backdrop of our wedding video.  I remember Dishon and I enjoying a romantic evening sitting together on the promenade in off of Montague Street in Brooklyn.  I loved that skyline.  I'm having a hard time embracing another.

On that beautiful September morning, that area of the city became something else - dark and horrific, but I also think about all the heroism that was displayed on that day, and it makes the memory of it a little easier to bear.  I am thankful that I didn't lose anyone that day, but so many other people did, and it hurts to think about it.  It hurts so much.  Most of the time when I go down to visit my family on my own, I take Amtrak, and my parents pick me up from Penn Station.  To get to where they now live in/on Staten Island, we drive down the West Side highway.  When we pass by where it all happened, I ache inside.  I don't think that will ever go away, really :(.  

Transitions

This was quite an amazing summer.  We started out with a trip Paris while the kids enjoyed two weeks with my family in New York City.  We returned to the start of my new job with Discovering Justice, the kids having fun in gymnastics camp, and then Serena spending almost two weeks in Western Canada.  When she returned, more gymnastics camp, and then the kids spent the week at New Heights Camp in Connecticut, as Dishon became the director of that camp. Now that Labor Day has passed, and fall is quickly approaching, I am mourning the departure of the carefree days of summer - late sunsets, trips to Dairy Barn for ice cream treats, and the kids getting to stay up a little later.  I know they miss that too, and are not thrilled with the return of back to school bedtimes.

I do look forward to the fall, though.  I love watching the leaves turn, apple and pumpkin picking, Dishon's birthday, Halloween, Serena's birthday, Thanksgiving, my Dad's birthday, Cairo's birthday, and Christmas, all pretty much falling back to back.  Fall is a festive time in our family, and although I'll miss summer days, and I'm not looking forward to early sunsets (though I will appreciate getting that hour back . . .), bring on the celebrations!

Songbird

This weekend, our daughter blessed us with one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever received.  I've been listening to the muffled beauty of her voice behind her bedroom door, and the bathroom doors for years.  I've been wanting to hear her really sing for a while now, but I recently stopped pressuring her about it.  Interestingly enough, when Dishon and I were trying to have children, we went through a similar experience - over two years of trying, and then as soon as we stopped worrying about it, there she was :).

On Saturday night, she decided to record herself singing Payphone by Maroon 5 (clean version ;).  She sounds so beautiful! I listened to the original, and I love how she put her own flavor into the song. I wish there was a way for me to upload it to the blog so you could hear it, too.  Maybe I can convince her to let me record her on video so I can upload it.  We'll see.  She's still terribly shy about singing in front of anyone . . . even us, and that's okay.  I've been playing it ever since, and just smiling and smiling.

That's the thing about songbirds, I guess.  If you see a beautiful bird sitting in a tree singing carelessly, sounding so pretty, and you chase after it trying to get a closer listen, the bird will fly away.  If you just go with the flow, however, and listen from a distance, letting the songbird have the space to just be, you end up getting to enjoy it more than you would if you chased after it.  Who knows?  The songbird might just come and rest on your shoulder, and sing into your ear.  Interesting life lesson . . .

Zipcar

 Good morning, all.  I had such a fun experience yesterday using Zipcar for the first time.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Zipcar, it's a way to share cars instead of having to rent them or drive your own car (kind of like Hubway is for bike sharing).  Zipcars are parked right across the street from the courthouse, so once I was added to my organization's account, all I had to do was reserve the car for the time period I wanted, and I was all set.  Since I don't drive in to work, it's a much better way for me to get around to the schools.


I reserved the Cooper Mini pictured here (I loved the new car smell!), and it was SO fun to drive, once I figured out how to turn the car on.  There's a sensor in the car window, so you scan your zipcard, and the doors unlock. That's also how you lock the car.  There is a key fob in the car that you insert into the fob outlet to turn the car on, press start, the engine comes on, and you're off.  What's really cool is that there's a gas card left in the car so the cost of gas is already included in the membership.  There's also a parking card left in the car, too, so you just scan in and out of the lot where the car is stored.

The car is already configured to connect to your smartphone, so I was pumping my own music through the iPod in my iPhone on my way back to the office.  I couldn't figure out how to open the windows, and I was running late after taking so long to figure out how to turn the car on, so I had to open the car doors to scan in and out of the lot.  Once I parked, I read the manual, and below you'll see why I was confused.  All the controls for locking/unlocking the car doors and opening/closing the windows are below the radio.  I'm all set now, and I plan to reserve this same car as often as possible, because it's so cute, and I put so much work into figuring it out!  If you have a chance to use Zipcar, I highly recommend it.

Coming Attractions

Hello, family.  I'm reviewing Joe Bunting's book, Let's Write a Short Story, and along with Tayari Jones' blog (she's the author of Silver Sparrow - a book I recently listened to on audiobook, and loved . . . ), this book is inspiring me to write regularly, and stop waiting for the perfect moment to revise, create, etc.  There is no perfect moment.  There's only right now.  I look forward to sharing more about it with you . . .

A Brooklyn Girl Discovers the Farmer's Market

I can't lie.  As much as I'm delighted about Serena and Cairo's wonderful experience in gymnastics camp this summer, I am not mad that tomorrow's my last day driving to Stoughton to pick them up after work.  I am usually pretty bushed by the end of the day, so it's been hard having a two hour commute home from work.  Next week, the kids will be at New Heights Camp with Dishon, and I'll get to come directly home.  I almost don't know what to do with myself!  The week after that, they'll be at the recreation camp in town and they'll be coming home with our friend's daughter and son (this same daughter who will be caring for them after school, which I'm so psyched about).  That means I'll get to go straight home.  Woo hoo!! They go back to school on August 29th, which will be here before we know it.  

The Randolph part of my morning commute has been a little challenging.  While I'm so happy that Randolph received funding to improve and beautify the town, I am not pleased with what it's doing to traffic.  And why they seem to want to work on the streets during the height of rush hour is beyond me.  Aside from that, though, my commute has been pretty beautiful.  I've been driving through the Blue Hills on my way to pick the kids up, and past Houghton's Pond . . . and on Thursdays until Columbus Day, there's a fabulous Farmer's Market at the T-station where I park every day.  I noticed it a couple of times before, and I finally stopped there today.  I bought some fresh peaches and corn, some home made salmon cakes, and I was given a free nectarine!  Next Thursday, I'm definitely going to pick up some more fruit and vegetables, maybe a homemade ceramic mug, and I'm definitely getting a lobster.  I'm feeling the Farmer's Market, yall. 

Elementary Transportation Dilemma and My Own Walk Home

Serena and Cairo's school is about two miles away from where we live.  Picking the kids up wasn't an issue last year when I worked in Randolph, but now that Dishon and I both work in Boston, it has now become a challenge.  Thankfully, there's another parent who's willing to drive them home every day,  where a wonderful teenager will be waiting to care for them, but she will only be able to drive them until Thanksgiving.  I've asked several other parents if they can transport the kids for us, but they mostly live in North Randolph, and have after school activities to do with their own children.  So I was stumped. . . until I remembered how I got home from school every day when I was their age.

Background: I started first grade when I was five, so I was only eight in fourth grade, and nine in fifth grade.  I only rode the bus in first, and maybe second grade.  After that, I walked to and from school every day, and it was a nine block walk.  I walked in the warm weather and in rain, cold, and snow.  I sometimes had friends who would come to meet me at my house, and we'd walk together, and pick other kids up for school on the way.

I was ten in sixth grade, and I continued to walk to junior high school, which was 17 blocks away.  On days that were too cold, snowy, or rainy, I would take the B12 bus home.  Sometimes with friends, and sometimes alone.  Sometimes we'd take the longer route home, and walk through the Kings County Hospital parking lot.  Sometimes we'd stop at the pizza shop and get a slice and a grape soda.  My favorite times were when we'd go to Downstate Medical Center, and we'd go play video games in the student center.

So, all that to say that now that Serena and Cairo are nine and ten, they just might be able to walk the few blocks to the city bus, and take the 10 minute ride to our house.  We don't have to feel stuck.  I just have to go through another level of letting go . . .

Putting Them on Blast

This was a rough week. Not because I miss our baby girl, although I do, and I'm so happy that she's coming back home tomorrow. It wasn't because of my work, because I'm really enjoying my new position. I'm blessed to work with truly talented, funny, thoughtful individuals, and we have lunch together daily, which I love. Every Tuesday, there is ice cream and jazz at HarborPark in back of the courthouse, and we enjoyed that together, too. Next Wednesday, we're going on a staff outing to Plimoth Plantation, our Executive Director will then treat us to lunch and give us the afternoon off. I've also been enjoying playing Words With Friends and Hanging With Friends more regularly because I have the time during my commute, and I've been listening to The Count of Monte Cristo on audiobook. So, no, it's not work.

 So what made this week difficult? Tufts Health Plan. The background to this story is that with Dishon's former job, our family had great health coverage. Co-pays were more than manageable, and we didn't have to pay for things like blood tests, etc. When he left that job, our family was covered under me, but I hated that coverage. Interestingly enough, it was just another version of what we formerly had under Dishon, so I mistakenly thought we'd enjoy the same benefits. Nope. Much higher co-pays and fees for everything! Now, don't get me wrong. I really appreciate that we have health coverage, but it's difficult to go from a really great one to a stressful one. Sheesh. 

Anyway, two years ago, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Thankfully, we caught it early (I was being monitored since there's a pretty significant family history of diabetes), and it's pretty manageable. I don't have to inject insulin, and I only have to check my blood sugar 2-3 times each week, but I do need to take oral meds, exercise (which I'm SO terrible about - I really need to make time for that), and diet.


When I was first diagnosed, we had Dishon's coverage, and I don't think I even had to pay for my glucose meter, lancer, lancets, or test strips. I noticed recently that my test strips had expired, so I called to ask my doctor for a refill. When I called the pharmacy to find out what the co-pay would be (I've noticed that our meds also have all kinds of funky new prices - some really low, some about $5 more than they were under my coverage, etc.), they told me that it would be $50. This was for the FreeStyle Freedom Lite meter (which I later learned was a tier 3 device, and therefore, more expensive). For those of you who know me well know I love coupons, free shipping, and any kinds of savings, so I really wasn't trying to pay $50 for test strips. I started researching other meters, because apparently, the strips for a meter like Accu-Chek are $20 less (it's a tier 2 device), which is what's up for me. My initial irritation was with the state of Massachusetts. Accu-Chek was offering free meters, but for some reason, they're not able to honor that offer in Massachusetts because of state law. Same with the FreeStyle discount program. Grr . . . 


So I called Tufts about getting another meter, and I was told that Tufts would not cover me getting a meter from a pharmacy. They said I'd have to contact a "contracted durable medical supply provider," and I would have to pay 30% of the cost of the new meter. They provided me with a couple of places to call. One place dropped my call after I explained my situation, and the other said they didn't even sell glucose meters. I called the first place back again (Neighborhood Diabetes Shoppe), and I spoke with a very nice woman who told me that a representative would call me back to help me order the meter, which they never did, even after I went and filled out the contact request online. 


In the meantime, I've been trying to schedule a session with a nutritionist to help me with meal planning, and Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates in Braintree (where my PCP is) has a nutrition department. When I made my appt., I was told that I should call my insurance provider to make sure that a nutrition visit was approved. I did, and the Tufts (THP) rep. told me that although nutrition visits are approved, the nutritionists at HVMA Braintree are not contracted with Tufts, and that I would have to find a different nutritionist. I thought this was odd, since the dept. came up on the list of approved sites on the THP website, but I figured that since she worked for THP, she knew better than I did. This comes up again later . . . 


They sent me a list of contracted nutritionists, and I saw it as an opportunity to see someone close to where I work so I wouldn't have to take too much time off from work to go. I found someone and called my PCP to get a referral to see her. I was called by HVMA's referral specialist and informed that he didn't know what the THP rep. was talking about. My doctor wouldn't refer out to this other nutritionist, because folks with THP coverage regularly see their nutritionists at HVMA, and there's never been a problem with having the visit covered. He said that maybe my THP rep. was new, and didn't really understand how things work, which would make sense, except that I was told that HVMA Braintree wasn't covered by more than one THP rep. So, I'll have to reschedule my appt., because when I was told that HVMA wasn't covered, I cancelled the appt. Again, grrr . . . 


I called THP because I was frustrated about my efforts to get a new meter and to find a nutritionist. I was informed that although the numbers they gave me before didn't result in my getting a new meter, she could give me another list, and I could just keep calling around to find a provider. I asked why I couldn't just get it from CVS, and I was told that they didn't provide medical equipment through pharmacies. I told her what the HVMA referral rep. shared with me, and she agreed that they were on the list of approved sites, but that she didn't see the nutritionists listed as being contracted. She also said that the HVMA rep. seemed to know what he was talking about, however, so I could just go to one of their nutrionists to see if it gets covered. Pardon me, but you would think that the rep. for the insurance provider would be able to tell me ahead of time so I'm not gambling with visits, right? 


Anyway . . . I still have yet to reschedule my visit with the nutritionist, but guess what happened yesterday? I had planned to just go out of pocket and buy the meter on my own when I saw them on sale on Amazon.com for like $20. Turns out I could just buy them out of pocket from CVS, so I planned to do that, and I called my doc for the prescription for the more affordable test strips and lancets. I called CVS to find out how much my prescriptions would cost, and you know what he told me? "We have your meter here. We put it through your insurance, and there's not cost for the meter." I about hit the roof. WHAT??? Seriously?? After all of that, it is covered at CVS? Not just covered, but NO CHARGE?? I'm going to have to stop writing now before I say cruel things, but dang! Right? It shouldn't be this hard! But it's Friday, I have my new meter, and our little girl is coming home tomorrow. All will be right with the world :). Enjoy the weekend, all . . .

The Agony of Commuting

Moakley Courthouse from the back (the park is back there)

First, let me say that I am thrilled with my new job.  It’s a calm, peaceful place to be, which is exactly what I need.  I went through the harbor entrance into the building for the first time this morning, and it’s beautiful!  Lots of trees, flowers, and plants, and there are benches overlooking the water where I’ll eat lunch when it’s not so hot outside.  Everyone is so friendly, and the cafeteria has a marvelous selection of food every day.

Getting to work on the first couple of days, however, was very challenging.  I knew I was spoiled by working in my town for the past couple of years, but I really felt it on Monday and Tuesday.  I have now figured out a commute that works, but my first two days were very stressful. 

Day One:

I was already feeling emotional, because Serena would be leaving the following morning at 2:30 for western Canada.  I decided to drive in, because when I factored in the cost of gas, and what I thought it would cost to park each day ($10), it didn’t seem to make sense to pay for parking at the Braintree station ($7 per day), and the cost of riding the train ($4 per day).  Alas, I was wrong about the cost of parking.  Across from the courthouse, it’s $15 per day, and the lot is all rough and rocky.  I wish I owned a parking lot downtown.  Sheesh!  I could’ve gone to another lot, but I only would’ve saved $1.  I made a mental note that I wouldn’t be driving in again.  It wasn’t so bad time-wise, but driving down Dorchester (Dot) Ave. almost killed me.  I'm a pretty impatient driver.  I'm working on it, but I just need to keep it real.  Dorchester Ave. is a one lane road with non-stop traffic.  When it was finally time for me to make the left turn on to A Street near Old Colony Ave., I was almost hit, because I didn’t end up in the right lane, and I tried to bust a move, but didn't realize that there was an additional right turning lane next to me :(. 

I thought that going home wouldn’t be so bad, because Serena was at home with Dishon, so I didn’t have to worry about getting to Stoughton to pick the kids up from gymnastics camp.  I didn’t think it made much sense to enroll Serena in camp for one day, so Dishon stayed home with her, and took Cairo to and from camp.  The commute wasn’t hard – just long.  I went back down Dorchester Ave. to see if it was any better than in the morning, and no, it was not. 

Courthouse Station on the Silver Line

The next day, I was disoriented, and running later than I intended after being up in the middle of the night getting Serena ready to leave.  I decided that instead of driving all the way in, I’d drive to the Milton MBTA stop (only $4 to park there), take the trolley to Ashmont Station, get the red line to South Station, and then the Silver Line to the Courthouse station. 

We live in Randolph, MA, and the roads in the town are being developed significantly, which makes it beautiful, but a traffic nightmare.  Also when you get to the turn from Randolph Ave. over to Adams Street, it’s always backed up.  I spied an alternate road that I plan to try out another day, but I was stuck trying to make that turn at the stop sign. Grrr! :(

High Speed Trolley

I was able to park at the trolley station, and I had my 16 quarters all ready to pay for parking.  The problem, however, was that the trolley was pulling up as I was trying to pay, and you have to deposit the quarters into the pay slot one at a time.  Thankfully, the driver was merciful and held the door for me.  I think she felt sorry for me seeing me running toward the trolley with all my things (I had a bunch of stuff in my bag to personalize my desk – family pictures, African cloth, Serena and Cai’s artwork, etc.).  The problem was that I had neglected to see if I was on the trolley going in the right direction.  Thankfully, it was :).  

Ashmont Station

When I got off at Ashmont, I tried to load more money on to my Charlie Card, and after five tries, I was unsuccessful.  It kept canceling my transaction for reasons I don't yet understand.  Thankfully, an MBTA employee helped me to load it.  I was a little concerned about having to use my card again to enter Ashmont station after already paying on the trolley, but (and I know I sound mad old . . . ), I didn’t realize that the card stored transfers, and wouldn’t charge me again.  As a matter of fact, if you position your Charlie Card in your wallet properly, you can scan the card without even having to take it out.  Very cool.  I remember having to use paper bus transfers in New York when I was a kid, so the transfer being stored electronically was a bit fascinating to me.  

While I was loading my Charlie Card, I heard the following announcement, “Attention passengers.  There are delays on the red line due to a disabled train at Andrew station.”  Sigh.  There actually wasn’t much of a delay, though, so that was good.  I arrived at South Station by 8:40, boarded the Silver Line by 8:50, and got to work right on time. 

Getting to gymnastics camp to pick Cairo up after work wasn’t bad, either.  I have learned to be deeply grateful for working AC on trains, and the words: "Attention passengers: the next red line train to Ashmont is now approaching."  Woo hoo! :)  I haven't had the disappointment of Braintree tree coming first so far, which I'm thankful for.  I forgot how hot it can get on the platform!  I positioned myself near the first train car, but it was out of service (lights off and everything).  I was a little concerned about not being able to get on the second car, because it was so crowded, but lots of folks got off at South Station, so it was all good.  


I got to Cai's camp by 5:30 after leaving work at 4:00.  I was SO happy to see Cairo.  He enjoyed his first day at after care, even though some kid in his group during the day has been trying to bully him.  Let me just say that with me being from Brooklyn, and Dishon being from Jersey, hearing about kids attempting to bully our babies doesn’t go over well.  I think we ended up doing a decent job remembering our commitment to being Christ-followers while teaching Cairo how to stand up for himself.  Turns out the kid tried to take a hockey stick from Cai today, but he held it down.  That's what's up, Little Dude! :)  Our baby is a gentle giant, but I think he's seeing how important it is to establish a strong presence with predatory kids like that.  

Day 2:

Silver Line

So, today’s commute, now that I know what I’m doing, went much better.  I downloaded the Parkmobile app, and paid for my parking fees in a far more expeditious manner.  I even got to work with enough time to take a leisurely walk from the Courthouse station over to the harbor park at the back of the courthouse.  A very beautiful, stress-free morning, indeed.  And interestingly enough, I got the same silver line bus in the morning and afternoon - #1114, which was nice, because Serena's birthday is November 14th, and I sure miss her!

So, if we ever cross paths during my commute, Bostonians, I'll be that chick with the headphones on and the strong head nod, dancing while waiting on the platform while on the train . . . whenever I can, because like my mom, I have a dancing heart ;).  

I Miss Paris

     

In front of the Opera House

Back to Reality.  Sigh . . . 

I am having such a hard time adjusting to being back home after ten marvelous days in Paris, so since I need to start writing regularly anyway, I figured blogging about our trip would be a great place to start. Let me get out of the way the things that took some getting used to. There's quite a bit of smoking in Paris, and being from the U.S. where smokers aren't even able to smoke outside of buildings much anymore, my lungs took a bit of a hit when we first got there.

Skinny Showers

Also, there are a variety of bathroom experiences one could have, including the unisex sink area, pumping the water to the sink with a pedal, and having to use a coin to gain entrance to the restroom. The phrase "curb your dog" doesn't seem to carry much weight there either, so you really have to watch where you step.









Finally, the showers in Paris are not designed for what Alexander McCall Smith refers to in his No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series as the "traditionally built." Being the fine Amazon that I am, and also, I now know, a bit claustrophobic, I enjoyed quick showers while I was in Paris.

The view from our window.

Where We Stayed:

We stayed in a beautiful place called the Grand Hotel du Palais Royal at 4 Rue de Valois.  It was two blocks away from the Musee du Louvre, and I so enjoyed our stay there.  The views from the windows were beautiful, though, since I have an aversion to heights, I had to brace myself a bit.  It was nice to be able to actually open the windows in a hotel and get some fresh air.  The staff there was very friendly.  

What our room looked like at the Grand Hotel du Palais Royal.

Every morning, Dishon and I enjoyed an exquisite breakfast of a variety of cheeses, cafe creme, or cappuccino, Danone Actimel (a wonderful yogurt drink that is very much like an Indian lassi), pastries, including croissants both with and without chocolate . . . I could go on.  It took me a little while to figure out how to use the hard boiled egg boiler (there was a bit of a weird incident the first day where I ended up with a raw egg all over my plate because the egg boiler wasn't on when I thought it was), but once I figured it out, I was all set.  It became a running joke between me and Dishon about my morning egg :).  

Mills Adventures: 

Paris train station where the incident took place.

We were a little disoriented/jet lagged when we first tried to navigate the Paris subway system.  Two of the young men who were with us went with our friend on a bike tour, but one of the young men didn't want to go, so he spent the day with me and Dishon.  It was a rainy day, and we were disappointed to find out, after Dishon skillfully navigated the maps and got us to the Picasso Museum, that it's actually closed until 2013, so we went to the National Archives where we saw Napoleon's marriage certificate and sobering pictures of Paris when it was occupied by Germany during WWII.  Seing the Nazi flags hanging on the Louvre seemed unreal.

National Archives

So back to the whole disoriented thing - the trains in Paris are different than in NYC and Boston.  On some lines, if you want to get off/on, you have to flip a latch when the train arrives in the station.  On the #1 line, there are the train doors and a set of plastic doors that line up with the train doors.  Very cool for knowing where to stand when waiting for a train.  Not so cool when you get smashed by the train and plastic doors like Dishon did, and he almost lost a shoe, but that's his story to tell.  Those of you who know me well, though, know that while my sweet, sweet husband was being smashed repeatedly, I was absolutely of no help to him.  I'm like a deer in headlights in times of crisis.

The sparkling Eiffel Tower

One of the best nights of the week was after we took a ride on the Seine on a yacht with Dishon's co-workers.  Lots of good food and champagne, wonderful conversations . . . I found out how valued he is by those who work with him, and it inspired me.  Even though my position was cut, like Dishon, I hope to work for folks who deeply value me in my new position.  After the last two traumatic years, it didn't seem possible, but I witnessed it in Paris.

Anyway, the sun doesn't go down until after 10 in Paris, so when we docked, it was just getting dark.  Port Debilly is near the Eiffel Tower.  We walked up the steps of the Trocadero, and there was a huge display of a world cup tournament.  Lots of cheering, crowds, African drummers on the Trocadero plaza . . . and then, in a moment of serendipity unlike any other I've experienced so far, we got to see the twinkling lights of the Eiffel Tower.  We didn't even know that would happen.  It was a perfect night.

Walking Around Paris:

During the day, Dishon was with the rest of the folks from the ArtScience Prize at Le Laboratoire helping the students get ready to present their ideas.  That left me with time to explore the city on my own, which was scary at first.  Having grown up in Brooklyn, I never thought I'd ever leave New York City, let alone explore a city in another country on another continent.  Although I had taken French in high school and college (Brooklyn College before I transferred to Ambassador College/University in Big Sandy, TX), that was a while ago, and I had never really spoken French except to pass oral exams.  Folks were so friendly and helpful.  Many people in France speak English, and most of the restaurants have English translations of the menus, or people who are willing to explain the dishes to you.  They get so excited when you even try to speak a little French, which I did, even though I was nervous.  It was pretty cool. As an educator, it definitely helped me to be more aware of and sensitive to what it's like to be a language learner in a new country.  

Le Lorax

It was really interesting to see movie posters in France.  I took these pictures for the kids because I thought they'd be fascinated by Le Lorax and L'Age de Glace 4 :).  It was also pretty cool seeing all the electric cars and bikes around the city that folks use like we use Zip Cars.

Ice Age 4 in the train station

Electric Bikes like Zip Cars

Electric Cars like . . . um, Zip Cars :)

I took a walk one day and hung out on the Pont Neuf bridge to make sure that I'd know where to get on Les Cars Rouges the next day for the bus tour of the city.  I bought some souvenirs on Quai du Louvre.  The bridge is beautiful, and I also had a chance to see Pont des Arts, which, like other bridges in the city, contains hundreds of locks where people have professed their love for one another, locked the lock, and have thrown the keys into the Seine River.  

Les Cars Rouges

The stops on Les Cars Rouges are: Tour Eiffel, Champs de Mars, Musee du Louvre (where I got on), Notre Dame, Musee d'Orsay (I didn't get to visit, but definitely want to the next time we visit), Opera, Champs-Elysees (depicted here where we saw the Arc de Triomphe), Grand Palais, and Trocadero.  I didn't get off at any of the stops, though.  I just wanted to take it all in, and rest my weary feet, since, as I was forewarned, you do A LOT of walking in Paris.  

The Guys:

We traveled with three wonderful young men who were winners of the Boston ArtScience Prize competition.  It was really my first time hanging out with teenage boys, and I don't think I've laughed or learned so much in such a short period of time.  One of the young men reminded me of what Cai might be like when he's 17.  

Where the phrase "One Omar" began . . . 

Things I will always remember:

• Stay calm, calm down and remain calm.
• I hate trees.  I tear down and replace with Green Code.
• Beware of the beehive.
• The dog is the only thing that man has in the world, and you almost killed it.  
• Some of the young men LOVED tartar.
• One of the young men LOVED taking pictures of all of our food.  
• One Omar = one hour

The Album store displayed here was where things got a little intense when one of the young men waited in line for a replica of a key piece of jewelry from The Lord of the Rings for an hour, only to realize that the store didn't accept American Express :(.  I went into the store with him for a while, and it really was cool.  There were Harry Potter wands and horcruxes.  I would've purchased some of that stuff if I had the cash for it. 

Macrons (pistachio is popular)

Where the best macrons in Paris are found

Notre Dame

Notre Dame is another place that is too beautiful for words.  We could've gone into the towers, but it would've been a walk up 400 stairs.  I'm getting old, yall, and I have bad knees.  I couldn't do it.  Going into the actual cathedral was breathtaking, and far more manageable.  

Vive L'Afrique?  They know about me up in Paris, too?  LOL! :)

Musee du Louvre:

Musee du Louvre at night

It's very difficult to capture in words what it was like to spend the afternoon at the Louvre (my favorite section was the Ancient Egyptian art), so I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

The closest I could get to the Mona Lisa

Venus de Milo

Winged Victory

Winged Victory

Food:

I can't believe that I saved this section for last, because it was a big part of why Paris was wonderful, and why I'm having a hard time adjusting.  Who feels like going food shopping and cooking when for ten amazing days, food like this was available everywhere?

Confit de Canard (Roast Duck - a new favorite)

First, I must talk about roast duck (confit de canard).  Before going to Paris, I had never tasted duck.  I had only heard that duck was greasy/oily, and it's rarely available at the restaurants I frequent in Randolph, Dedham, or Boston, so I never really gave it much thought.  One night, Dishon and I went out for a romantic dinner at a restaurant called Pasco on Boulevard de la Tour Maubourg before walking over to the Eiffel Tower.  Dishon had a foie gras appetizer, and I tasted a little, but I wasn't really feeling lit.  For some reason, however, I decided to try the roast duck that night, and I fell in love with it.  So tender and yummy!  Sorry, Daffy and Donald! :(

Pommes Dauphinoise

On our last night in Paris, we ate at a restaurant in the Latin quarter, not far from the Sorbonne called Le Machon d'Henri.  When we arrived, we were told that the restaurant would reopen in about 15-30 minutes while the staff went to purchase fresh food for dinner.  They let us sit and wait, and it was so worth it.  There was this appetizer with goat cheese, crushed black olives, olive oil and fresh french bread.  I'm swooning just remembering it.  I learned to enjoy wine while I was in Paris, too.  When we ordered, of course I chose a duck selection, but it had different potatoes than Dishon and the guys had.  They had pommes dauphinoise, which is like potatoes au gratin, but so much better - a lighter cream and cheese, and it tasted like there was cinnamon the recipe.  The potatoes were perfect - smooth like red potatoes.  I kept trying to take Dishon's potatoes, and he let me, up until a point (I usually try to take his food in restaurants, because he's more of a culinary adventurist than I am).  My only regret while there was not ordering pommes dauphinoise for myself.  I'm going to try to make them, but it won't be the same.

Creme Brulee

I tried other desserts while in Paris, like chocolate mousse, of course, and a couple of recommended pastries.  My favorite dessert was creme brulee, which is far better there than any I've had here.  In fact, one night, I was the envy of our table when we went out for a group dinner.  There were 60 of us from the ArtScience Prize, and the menu was pre-selected.  I am allergic to almost every good fruit there is (ie: bananas, kiwi, watermelon, mango, etc.), so I couldn't eat the fruit salad dessert.  When I asked for a substitution, they asked if creme brulee would be acceptable.  Mais, oui!! :)

I am so thankful that I had the chance to go on this trip, and I'm really looking forward to going back next year.  Hopefully we'll have the same shuttle driver (Abdel) who gave us such a fantastic tour of the city when we first arrived at the Charles de Gaulle airport.  Au revoir for now . . .