Turning 44

From Friday, April 13th through Saturday, April 21st, Dishon and I took Serena and Cairo on a much anticipated family vacation, and it did not disappoint. Here are the highlights:

It's Hard to Leave Rabbit, But I'm So Strong:
We dropped Rabbit off with a new sitter this time, which was hard for me. She usually stays with a couple of different families, and this time we wanted to try leaving her with a sitter we found through Rover.com who would offer her an opportunity to stay with several other dogs in a home near our town with a fenced in yard. Ever since we adopted Rabbit, we've wanted her to have a chance to be more socialized, but in a more reliable setting than a dog park. I took her for a meet and greet a while before our trip, and she did fine. Packing up all her things, though, and taking her over felt like such a betrayal! 😫 Dishon and I stayed with her for a while to make sure she was comfortable, and I was cool, but there were WAY more dogs there than when we went for the meet and greet (Rabbit, the sitter's dog and 8 other dogs mainly because of April vacation week). I didn't cry until I got into the car, which was big for me 😢. For the most part, she had a great time. There were a few incidents with another dog who kept dog profiling her, trying to dominate her and all that just because of her breed. Rabbit was patient for a while, but suffice it to say that Rabbit left the other dog with no doubt about how she rolls when pressed, and how she responds to other dogs being bullied. Enough said.

Really Good Food:
We had so much great food during our trip! We left on Friday, April 13th when Serena and Cairo got home from their early release day, and the trip down to New York was mostly good until we took the exit for the George Washington Bridge. We sat in traffic for HOURS! When we arrived at my parents' apartment on Staten Island, we were greeted by hugs, kisses, curried goat, beans and rice, cabbage, and BBQ chicken. We had a chance to hang out with family, get a good night's sleep, enjoy some legit bagels (yall know NYC bagels are the truth, right?), sausage and coffee for breakfast, and get back on the road.

We stopped in Aberdeen, Maryland for lunch. We intended to grab a quick lunch at Chick-Fil-A, but it was SO packed, so we went next door to The Olive Tree. I won't front. At first, I was thinking it was going to be a bootleg Olive Garden (especially when we got salad and bread sticks after we sat down), but the food was SO good! The bread sticks were SO much better than Olive Garden's (I feel like drooling right now as I'm reminiscing on the buttery goodness!), and the broiled crab sandwich I had? Out of this world good!

I'll say more about the National Museum of African American History and Culture later in the post, but here I must capture the food we had at the museum's Sweet Home Cafe. The food court pays tribute to the many types of food born out of the African American experience, and we enjoyed the fried chicken, mac and cheese, cornbread, BBQ brisket sandwich, baked beans, pecan and sweet potato pie.

We stayed in Arlington, VA from 4/14 - 4/17, and we enjoyed several good meals while there. There was one night, though, when Serena and Cai were good with their leftovers, so Dishon and I took the opportunity to enjoy a spontaneous date night at a restaurant in Shirlington called Carlyle. Yall! So much yummy goodness, from the deviled eggs with pecans and candied bacon appetizer, to the bubbly Sangria, to the Shrimp and Creamy Grit Cakes to the Warm White Chocolate Bread Pudding! I don't even know what to say about all that. It just makes me wanna holla! I was very, very happy with my food.


The night we arrived at Dishon's mom's house in Charlotte, she also had some stewed chicken, rice, broccoli, peas, and sweet potatoes waiting for us, as well as some yellow cake.

I'll also say more about my birthday later in the post, but here I must shout out the restaurant in Charlotte that my friend Romain picked out for my birthday dinner. At Cafe Monte, I enjoyed escargot, beef short ribs bourguignonne, a complimentary slice of chocolate cake, and creme brulee. It was special for many reasons - not only because Romain is from France, but also because several years ago, Dishon and I got to spend ten days in Paris, and it was one of the best times of my life. Cafe Monte reminded me of that time.

My nephew, Richard (Rajendra) and Dee Dee

Driving through Baltimore will always be hard: 
I won't say too much here, except to mention that although I figured that driving through Baltimore would be challenging (for those of you who don't know, my sister, Dee Dee, was murdered in her home in Baltimore almost four years ago), I wasn't prepared for how deeply sad I'd feel, even just passing through on the highway. Dishon was driving, and I Googled her name to see if the police ever identified her murderer. The case is still open, and my heart still breaks when I think of her.

Serena and Cairo are Incredible Young People: 

Before we left for our trip, Dishon, Serena and Cairo gave me early birthday presents and the kids gave me the most beautiful birthday letters. Our conversations over meals during our trip were fun, funny, enlightening, and pleasantly surprising. I'm aware of how observant, sharp, and witty they are, and it's always wonderful to learn more about their thoughts, opinions and ideas. They are so special to me, and I want to give them the world, always. In order to make this trip affordable, we had to make some frugal choices, and it was hard to get to our first hotel and find out that it was actually an updated motel. If I had my way, we'd stay in the fanciest places with all the best amenities, and I felt a little sad when I saw our accommodations. They weren't bad . . . just not exactly what I was expecting. One of the things that touched me most about Serena and Cairo? When we got there, they were so excited about where we were staying. It was their first time having a room all to themselves instead of having to stay in the same room with us, and their excitement and gratitude did my heart good.

Hard to Ride the DC Metro: 
On Sunday, April 15th, we were so excited to get to go to the National Museum of African American History and Culture. After the breakfast buffet at the hotel, we boarded the hotel shuttle that took us to the Pentagon City Metro station. It took a while for us to figure out how to purchase our SmarTrip cards. I'm used to taking public transportation in New York City and Boston where the fare is the same on all the trains. In DC, however, it matters where you're boarding, where you're getting off (you have to scan your pass both entering and exiting the stations), and whether you're riding during peak or off-peak hours. Thankfully, there are Metro staff at each station to help you figure things out.

The African-American Story Never Ceases to Amaze Me:

At a professional development session several years ago, the facilitator shared a video clip of Black children reciting a poem called What Makes You So Strong, Black People? It was an old video, and I haven't been able to find it since, unfortunately, but that's what kept coming to mind as we descended through time in the elevator, seeing the exhibits about the middle passage, reading the accounts of the enslaved Africans who jumped from the horrific ships to the sharks below, the inhumane conditions of those ships, how one woman scraped the dirt from a yam on the ship and ate the dirt to keep part of Africa inside her, ascending and seeing auction block, Harriet Tubman's shawl, Nat Turner's Bible, the words of the Declaration of Independence juxtaposed against all of the injustices my ancestors suffered, Marcus Garvey's hat, KKK hoods, the many, many names of lynching victims, Emmett Till's memorial (including his casket - Emmett was not much younger than Cairo when he was tortured to death), sitting at a lunch counter and choosing what I'd do if I were a Freedom Fighter, someone trying to integrate schools, or a civil rights worker training to sustain harm, reading the words of Malcolm X, James Baldwin and Langston Hughes . . . I, Too, Am America. Black is Beautiful, Strong, Resilient, Deep, Brilliant, Joyful, Contemplative, Creative, Analytical, Undaunted. It was really helpful to be reminded of all that in the midst of the Starbucks incident, the young man in Michigan, shot at for asking for directions, and the massive confederate flags flying over the highway on our way home.

The MLK Memorial Tops Them All:

After spending the day at the NMAAHC, we got tickets for the Hop On/Hop Off Red Tour Buses, and rode around to several DC monuments on a cold, rainy day. We stopped at the Jefferson Monument (I thought the statue of Jefferson at the NMAAHC was much more appropriate - behind him there was a stack of bricks with the names of the enslaved people he "owned," including many of him own children with Sally Hemings).  We also went to the MLK memorial - so powerful, and surrounded by many of his quotes - many of which we don't often hear recounted on the celebration of his birthday each year, interestingly enough. We stopped at the Lincoln Memorial as well before heading back to Union Station for lunch.


Storytelling and Laughter:

Aquiva, Jay, Taurean and Legaci

Unfortunately, we forgot to take pictures while we were together, but the night we arrived in Charlotte, we got to spend time with Dishon's brother Jamie, his fiancee, Aquiva, and our nephew, Taurean (Aquiva's granddaughter and Taurean's niece, Legaci is pictured here, but we didn't get to see her that night). One of my most favorite things is being around Dishon and Jamie. Brothers. Jamie is 13 years older than Dishon. There were a couple of moments where I felt like we went back in time, listening to Jamie talk about his desire to protect Dishon - Dishon had a very cruel second grade teacher who made every day of that school year awful for him, and much to Jamie's chagrin, he didn't find out about this until years later. They had moved from Paterson, NJ, which was a mostly Black community, to East Rutherford, NJ, where there was, unfortunately, a lot of racism, Jamie talked about what that experience was like for him, and what he needed to do to take care of himself. My favorite part of the story? Jay called his friends in Paterson to let them know he needed help after someone tried to mess with him. He said it was like Harlem outside by the time school was over, and he didn't have any more problems after that. Dope! On that Vibranium/Wakanda level! Yes! Dishon and Jay are both such great storytellers, and there's always SO much laughter, and such great memories are both shared and created. . It won't make sense to you, but I'll just drop this right here . . . Let me get that smothered and covered . . . Cook Out style. 😂😂😂 I can't wait to see Jay, Aquiva and Taurean again at our niece's wedding in June! We'll definitely get some pictures then.

Your Birthday Can Remind You How Loved You Are:
On my birthday, I received over 140 Facebook messages (including one from Chris Emdin! What?!?! 😁), in addition to calls from family and Voxes and emails from my colleagues. I got to do everything I wanted to do that day, including eating good food, watching Netflix (finishing A Series of Unfortunate Events, and almost finishing Maya Angelou's And Still I Rise documentary), napping, and spending time with family and friends.

Good Friends Make Life So Extra Sweet!: 

Romain is such an amazing friend. Knowing that I was going down to Charlotte, and had yet to meet his wonderful wife and sons, we made arrangements to get our families together. Being good friends with me means getting to know some things that most people don't know . . . including my requirements for a perfect meal for my birthday. Romain took all of that information (and it's quite a bit!), and not only did he find the best restaurant for me to celebrate my birthday, but we got to spend it with him and his family. He made sure that it was extra special 💕. We even got to go to his house to hang out before going to the restaurant, enjoy an amazing meal, have a rousing Happy Birthday sung to me at the restaurant, enjoy some treats from the Amelie French bakery, and coffee back at his house while our kids played video games (more like Cai played video games with his boys and Serena fought off sleep 😂). Serena loves to sleep.
  
Bringing Dreams to Life:

My mom has been an amazing cook and baker for YEARS! I am so proud to see her business cards! If you're in the New York City area, and you find yourself in need of something sweet, like a carrot, chocolate, red velvet or Italian Cream cake, definitely let me know and I'll put you in touch with her. You will not be disappointed.



Family:

Dishon's mom absolutely has the gift of hospitality, and she made a big dinner to celebrate our visit on our last night there. We got to see Aunt Rita, Dishon's sister Deborah and her boyfriend Vance, our niece, Asha, and her fiance, Daniel, our niece Kelly (Ni'Jah), her daughter, Hayley, our nephews Jared and Micah, Micah's girlfriend, Elizabeth, her son Timmy and their son Zion and friends from Mama Shirley's church. Lots of stories and laughter that night, too!

Dishon and his mom, Shirley

Dishon and his sister, Deborah

Ley, Ni'Jah and Aunt Rita

Asha and her fiance, Daniel

Jared, Dishon and Micah

Cousins

Dishon, Zion and Me

Runs in the Family:
When we sat and talked with Aunt Rita at Mama Shirley's house before everyone else showed up, she talked about how, even now that she's retired, she continues to facilitate diversity trainings.  Hmm . . . Familiar. See my account below of the big things for me in 2018.

It's Hard to Officiate in Virginia:

I won't say too much about this, except that Dishon will be officiating our niece's wedding in June, and in order for him to officiate this wedding, he had to present his license, ordination papers, a letter from his supervisor stating that he's a pastor in good standing, a fee, appear in person to swear an oath (which we were thankfully able to do on our way back home). Serena had to use the bathroom while we were there, and I was a bit scared to let her go into the building for fear that they might also ask to have her as our first born child. Sheesh. Oh, and did I mention that it's only good for one ceremony? 😒

I'm now scared of bridges:

I'm scared of heights. Very. So imagine how I felt approaching the Harry W. Nice Memorial Bridge connecting Virginia and Maryland. #NotSoNice #Terrified #WhySoSteep #NewPhobia
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Playlists Make Road Trips Extra Good:
Being stuck in traffic drives me crazy, but good music makes it so much better. I made a road trip playlist when I went to Vermont with my friend Laura in February, 2017, and I haven't listened to it since then, so it was fun to listen to it on this trip. I forgot that I also made a playlist to serve as the soundtrack for when my novel is published and becomes a movie. Good stuff! I made the car into my own karaoke bar while I was driving 🎤. I'll resurrect those playlists again on our way back to Virginia in June.

And the celebration continues this month. . . my parents told me that they sent me something special in the mail 💖. There's going to be a cupcake with my name on it when I go into my office on Thursday, and I have a hangout coming up with my girl Laura next weekend. April is a big party all month long. And rightly so! 😉

Big Things in 2018!: 

This year has already been pretty incredible professionally. And I feel like it's only going to keep getting better. I feel like Harry Potter in The Half Blood Prince when he took the Felix Felicis. #Winning

In early March, my sistafriend and colleague, Monica Washington, and I co-facilitated our Required Reading Reconsidered session for the first time at the Kauffman Foundation's Amplify Conference for Kansas City Educators of Color. I won't front - when Chris Emdin dapped me up during his talk, that was EVERYTHING! I have video!

In late March, my little brother from another mother and colleague, Chuks Ekwelum, and I co-facilitated our Interrogating the Curriculum: When Are We Going to Learn about Us? session at The Power of Culturally Responsive Education in the 21st Century conference in New York City.

In April, Monica and I co-authored our Required Reading Reconsidered blog post, and I was featured on the Truth for Teachers podcast discussing the School to Prison Pipeline.

Gabourey Sidibe said my name and read my question on the Smollett Family Book Signing and Interview (check out minutes 15:30 - 17:35). What?!? Got to hear Jake, Jurnee, Jazz, and Jussie answer my question! 😳😁

By May 1st, I'll find out if I won a spot in Spotify's podcast contest. Fingers crossed!

At the end of May, Monica and I will co-facilitate our Required Reading Reconsidered session at the Coalition of Schools Educating Boys of Color (COSEBOC) annual gathering in Boston.

In June, Dishon and I will go away for a pastor's retreat and we'll all travel back to Petersburg, where Dishon will officiate our niece, Esa's wedding. It'll be another family reunion, and I can't wait!

In July, Monica and I will co-facilitate our Required Reading Reconsidered session again at the National Teacher Leadership Conference in Las Vegas.

In the fall, I'll be featured on the Truth for Teachers podcast again, discussing Culturally Responsive Teaching and Learning.  

You know how on Seinfeld, there was the year of George? This is feeling like the year of Afrika, and it feels fine! God, I am so deeply grateful for your love, protection, provision, wisdom, patience, grace, mercy, favor, creativity, and how You share Your joy with me. Year 43 was pretty awesome. Here's to a great 44th.