America to Me

I am facilitating a discussion group at BetterLesson about the America to Me docu-series, 

and in preparation for our first meeting, our homework was to read Langston Hughes'   

Let America Be America Again and answer the following question: What is America to you? 

Here's what I wrote (with some additions based on recent events):

That's a tough question. When I consider whether or not there's another country in this world 
where I'd rather live, there isn't. I haven't traveled much, and my family, friends, and life are
all here. And at the same time - in this skin, with this hair, with this history, these experiences
 - it never quite feels like home to me. But I stay hopeful, even though I wonder if my husband, 
or my son, or my daughter or I will, one day, become a casualty of ignorance and hate (more 
than parts of us already are). 

As the Manager of Culturally Responsive Teaching and Learning and an Instructional Coach 
with BetterLesson, and as a Consultant, I work diligently for equity and justice, because I believe
that progress is possible - reading, researching, and writing blog posts and content about race, 
culture, equity and ways to transform our instructional practices, contributing to podcasts, 
facilitating professional development and conference sessions - I love that I get to spend my time
working on something so important. I am constantly in search of others who are looking for the 
same thing, although sometimes the dark underbelly of this land . . . around the corner from me
 . . .  takes my breath away, as does the silence of those who watch and say it's awful, but do little 
to nothing to change things. 

The students at our town's high school (including our two children) are mostly Black and Brown 
students, and not too long ago, there were ads on our school district's new website on each of the 
six school's individual pages about a police tip line. Why was this? I wrote to the school committee 
to express my concern as a parent and educator, telling them why it was problematic, and highlighting
the connection to the school-to-prison pipeline and deficit mindset about our students. I received a 
response thanking me for sharing my concerns, assuring me that the matter would be investigated 
and that appropriate action would be taken. When the ad remained for weeks after I received this 
response, however, I was left to assume that the school committee believed that either it wasn't 
important enough to address, or the appropriate action in their minds was to continue running 
the ads. Maybe both. Thankfully the superintendent took immediate action when I shared my 
concerns with her. The ads are no longer there. At the same time, I'm looking at the school 
committee with a side eye. My babies are in that school, as are the precious children of hundreds 
of other families. The fragile trust I had has been further eroded. 

Not too long ago, in response to an incident at the high school, someone in our town proposed 
forming a lynch mob to kick in doors and do things to our children/community members that 
I will not repeat here. That was the more egregious of the comments on our town's "uncensored" 
Facebook page (hence my earlier reference to the dark underbelly). It appears that the page 
administrators didn't see fit to take immediate action to remove such a disgusting comment, 
even though there are tools on Facebook for reporting hate speech and threats, and page 
administrators can remove members . . . so many comments were left unchallenged, except, 
most notably by a student leader from the school who shared statements at the town council 
and school committee meetings. #SadeRatliff 💙

When our local paper ran an article about the success of the recent voter registration drive at the high 
school, one of the comments stated about the students, "I hope they're legal." Several of us who are all 
set with the unchecked loud underbelly reported the comment to Facebook and it was removed pretty 
quickly. I called the paper, and received a return call within an hour thanking me for bringing the 
comment to their attention, and asking me to reach out in the future should something like this happen 
again so they can remove comments and block individuals determined to spread ignorance and hate. 
With those reporting tools accessible to everyone, and with such quick responses, I have to wonder 
why more people aren't reporting hateful comments? And on that note, back to what America is 
to me . . .

I engaged in a crossing over activity last year as part of my experience with the Boston Educators 
for Equity, and became very aware of parts of my identity where I experience privilege that I hadn't 
previously considered. I have my home, my family, my work, my degrees, my experiences, my 
resources, my birth certificate, my social security card, my license, my car, my life, access to clean 
water . . . and it's a shadow of freedom/privilege that I wouldn't necessarily have anywhere else. 
But at any moment, I could be Sandra Bland. My husband could be Philando Castile. My son could 
be Trayvon Martin. My daughter could be Renisha McBride. And some people who don't look like me 
would cry, maybe protest, and write posts on social media about the tragedy of our senseless loss . . . 
and then go about their days. Shake my life like an Etch-a-Sketch drawing that was never really here. 
But the people who look like me? They'd wonder if they, one day would just be another 
Afrika Afeni Mills.