Steven's Flashback

 *Spoiler alert* If you're going to read the book, and don't want to know the backstory for Subria's father, you should probably stop reading now. Still reading? Okay - you've been fairly warned ;).

Although Subria suspects that there's something not quite right with her father (Steven), she doesn't find out until she's older that her father is battling a drug addiction stemming from a traumatic incident in his past. Initially, I didn't want to just have him tell her about this incident, though. I wanted the reader to be on the scene when it happens. Originally, I was looking for a place to put this incident pretty early in the story so the reader understood the source of his need for self-medication.

After reading more about plot development, however, and the importance of maintaining mystery for the reader, I want to include it much later in the story (toward the end). I don't want Subria's transformation to be dependent or piggyback on her father's struggle. Her transformation has to belong to her. I also feel like I was letting him off the hook. Regardless of the trauma from his past, he still has to take responsibility for hurting his daughter with his addiction (a vital component of so many of the 12 steps he will need to work through as a part of his recovery), and it's okay for Subria to be angry with him. 

I'm not sure yet if this story should be part of the novel, where this will appear if it should, how it should appear, or even if his flashback is an appropriate part of the story, but here it is:

July, 1961

Prospect Park in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn, New York

Steven sat down on the grass with his arms outstretched behind him, leaned his head back, and looked up at the sky.  The sun was too bright, so his eyes closed involuntarily.  He inhaled the perfume of the cut grass and reluctantly exhaled it.

He had just spent a miserable year in fourth grade, and he was so glad to be out for the summer.  Steven’s father could always find the perfect spot in the park, so even though it was a mild summer day, there weren’t many other families picnicking where they were.  As he breathed in, he could smell the charcoal from the grill coming from the left where his father was setting up. 

Steven lay back with his hands interlaced behind his head and felt perfectly at ease . . . and then he felt the splash of ice water on his face, and his reverie was destroyed.  There’s only one person that would do something so crazy.  His little sister Joy was 6-years-old, missing her middle two teeth on top, and the most annoying kid on earth.  She was famous for messing things up, and every time Steven tried to complain to his mom, she never really took him seriously.  Every time Joy misbehaved, his mom would pinch her cheeks and talk about how cute she was.  Steven thought that his baby brother James, Jr. was way cuter than Joy.  Besides, it wasn’t fair how Joy never bothered their older sister, Esther.  The more he thought about it, though, he was scared to bother Esther, too, so Steven knew he was the best target for Joy’s "affection." 

"MA!!"

"What’s the matter?"

"Did you see what she just did?"

"No, but it couldn’t have been that bad.  Calm down."

Steven chased Joy around the trees, and the whole area echoed with her laughter.

"Steven, stop chasing your sister."

When Steven stopped running, so did Joy.  She came over slowly and sheepishly, and tried to hug him, but he pulled away.  "I’m sorry, Stevie," she said, smiling.

"That wasn’t funny, Joy.  Look at my shirt!"  The collar of Steven’s bright red shirt was now dark red and sticking to his skin. 

"I said I was sorry!" Joy shouted, as she continued to giggle. 

"Yeah, right."  Steven sighed and walked away with his hands tucked in his pockets.  He looked over to his dad to see if he could get some support, but James, Sr. just flipped burgers and hummed, looking toward, and then quickly away from, his wife, Carol.  Steven looked over by the trees nearest to their picnic spot, and Esther was sitting on a blanket writing in her journal as usual.  James, Jr. was rolling his favorite truck on top of the picnic table while Carol unpacked the plates, cups, and napkins. 

"I’m going for a walk, mom.  I’ll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"I don’t know.  Exploring or something.  I won’t go far."

"Mommy can I go, too?" Joy asked.

"Sure.  Steven, take your sister with you."

"Mom, please.  That’s the whole reason I’m going for a walk in the first place.  I just want some peace and quiet for a little while.  She can stay here and play with Junior.  Don’t you want to play with Joy, Junior?"  Junior looked up at Steven, shrugged, and went back to playing with his truck. 

"I don’t want to play with Junior.  I want to go exploring with you, Stevie.  Please?"

"This is so unfair.  I hate my life!"

"Steven, please, you don’t even know what it’s like to have a rough life."

"Come on, Joy," Steven huffed, kicking at the dirt as he started walking away.

Joy squealed gleefully, and grabbed Steven’s hand.

"Let go.  Your hands are all sticky," Steven said, lying.

After they walked across the grass for about five minutes, Steven looked up at his favorite hill and smiled.  Even having Joy with him couldn’t take the pleasure out of climbing up this hill.  It was one of the steepest hills in Prospect Park, and it gave him such a sense of accomplishment every time he reached the top.  He looked back over at Joy.  She had hidden a bunch of raisins and breadcrumbs in the little pocket of her sundress.  Steven watched her as she put some of the crumbs and raisins at the base of a tree.  She backed away from the tree slowly, and they both watched in wonder as a couple of squirrels scurried down from a branch and ate.  Steven smiled when he saw her giggle, but he quickly fixed his face back to a frown so she wouldn’t look over at him and see him smiling at her.  He started to walk away as she went to the edge of the lake, and threw breadcrumbs out to the ducks. 

"I’m leaving, Joy!"

"Where are you going?" Joy asked as he started to climb up.

"Where does it look like I’m going?  I’m climbing up the hill!"

"I – I’m scared to climb up there."

"Well, I’m not coming back down here to get you, so you better start climbing."

"Is it safe?  I mean, it looks a little slippery, and look at all these sharp rocks!"

"Joy, you’re the one who asked to go with me, now come on!"  Steven looked around, and the dirt was a little muddy from when it rained the day before.  The cautious part of him felt like he shouldn’t take her up the hill since she was scared.  After all, he was her big brother, and that meant looking out for her.  But then he thought about how much she had already ruined his day.  She was always ruining stuff for him.

Steven started climbing the hill without her.  Joy climbed as fast as she could to catch up with him, but she started slipping.  "Stevie?!  Stevie – I’m falling!"

"Joy, just come on!"

"I’m serious, Stevie."  He looked back and saw the terror on her face. 

"Okay, Joy.  Take it easy, okay?  Just grab my hand."  Steven started to creep back down the hill toward her, and when he planted his feet in a sturdy spot, he stretched his arm out toward her.  "Grab my hand, Joy."

Joy stepped toward him and reached out her hand, but she stepped down on a moist rock, and

lost her footing.  Before Steven knew it, Joy was airborne, falling back toward the bottom of the hill where the sharp rocks were waiting.  The scream that came out of her mouth seemed too big for her little body.  Forgetting about his own safety, Steven ran down the hill to try to help Joy.  She had fallen backward, and head first.  Her head hit the rocks with a sickening thud.  By the time Steven reached the bottom of the hill, her body was twitching, and her eyes stared around wildly.  Her mouth was open like she was trying to scream, but no sound came out. 

"Joy?  It’s okay Joy," Steven cried, hot tears falling heavy and fast from his eyes on to his little sister as he leaned over her.  He didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t want to leave her there by herself, but if he tried to carry her, he wouldn’t get back to where his family was fast enough.  He looked around frantically to see if there was someone to help, but what he loved most about this spot was how private it was. 

"Joy, I need to go get you some help, okay?"

"Stevie, please don’t leave me," she cried.  She reached out for his hand, and this time he let her hold it. 

"I have to go get you some help, Joy.  I’ll go as fast as I can, okay?"

She took a deep breath and looked at him one last time before closing her eyes.  Suddenly, her body became very still, and her hand fell out of his. 

"Joy?"  She didn’t respond.

"Joy, please say something."  Still, nothing.  He picked her up, laid her down on the grass, and he bent down to put his ear near her mouth.  She wasn’t breathing anymore, and when he looked over at the bottom of the hill, the rock where she hit her head was covered with blood.

***

I really wanted to call this post When Joy Died, but I knew that would give too much away. If I do include this in the novel, I need to do more research about what Prospect Park was like in the early 60s, especially for an African-American family.

What do you think? Would including his backstory take away from Subria's story as the main character? When/how should the reader learn about this incident? Should the reader find out before Subria does? I don't want the readers to be too sympathetic toward Steven. Would it be better for him to just tell her this story himself instead of having it appear for the reader? Share your thoughts, if you're so moved :).