People Editors

There are few things that irk me more than when people are quick to correct other people's spelling, grammar, pronunciation, and/or sentence structure (I feel the same way about people who take pictures of other people in public and post them on social media to make fun of them, but I digress . . .). If someone has been hired as an editor, or has been asked to help someone prep for a job interview, that makes sense. There's an expectation of feedback and correction, but I'm talking about folks who just volunteer to correct others without invitation. I am very suspicious of people who seem to get a thrill out of correcting how other people speak and write when it hasn't been requested. What is that about? Do they care about how it makes other people feel? What makes people nominate themselves to edit other people? Are they just projecting their own insecurities? Why do they seem to care more about spelling than people and ideas?

I don't care if someone says ax instead of ask. I know what they mean. I don't care if someone says breffix instead of breakfast. I know what they mean. I don't care if someone writes their instead of they're or there. I know what they mean. I don't care if someone writes your instead of you're. I know what they mean. I do care that they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, and that they know that I honor their stories and ideas. Spelling, grammar, and pronunciation are small things. People's stories and ideas are of such great value.

When people say things like irregardless and conversate, I cringe a bit, not because I think that it means that someone is unintelligent - far from it - but I know that there are those who will take out their red pens and write all over their thoughts and feelings, and my ISFJ Defender personality doesn't like seeing anyone being made to feel silenced.

As a teacher, I have been especially sensitive to this, because the English language is complicated. If someone dares to share their thoughts and feelings, it's a big deal. "Improper" spelling and grammar are easy to amend at the right time and for the right reasons - but not while someone is just comfortably sharing their thoughts, feelings and ideas.

I thought about this yesterday while I was preparing coaching clips to share at an upcoming team meeting. I work for one of the most considerate companies I've ever heard of, and yet there is a clip that I'm sharing where I say to a teacher, "I was gon' say . . . " Do I know that the proper way to say that would have been, "I was going to say?" Yes. I graduated from high school when I was just turning 16, and graduated first in my class with an M.Ed. from a top school . . . and Ebonics is comfortable for me - even desirable when I have connected with someone. It has nothing to do with my intelligence . . . I hate that I even wondered about whether or not to share such a great coaching moment. I know it's because I'm constantly on the lookout for the people editors who will suddenly emerge from the bushes waving their red pens like a weapon - those who can't (or won't) see the forest for the trees. Those who may smile and laugh in your face, but in their minds they question your intelligence - or worse - your right to share your thoughts and ideas because it didn't look or sound a certain way.

After spending that wonderful week in Vermont, I'm searching for a local writing group, and I've signed up for a mini-writers' retreat at a local community arts center and a writers' group that meets at a local Barnes and Noble. When I first go, I'll be on the lookout for those who want to contribute to the development of ideas (the hard stuff) or edit the writing (the easy stuff).

Here's what I want to do as a member of a writing group, but also in life in general: Be quiet. Listen. Embrace someone else's story without feeling like taking out a red pen and silencing the telling in order to focus on minutiae (I should have written it as minoosha just for kicks). When it's time to talk, I want to ask questions instead of making statements, and let those questions be meaningful. Questions that help to deepen the telling of the story.  I want to know what people are trying to say. I want to long to be informed instead of trying to inform. I want to watch people dance with their words, even if the steps are not what I was expecting. Maybe I'll learn something. Maybe it'll help me to create a new dance with my words, too.