I previously posted about the guy Kevin who Subria meets at school. Remember how every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Keep that in mind for a post that will follow about Subria and Kevin, because I'd love some feedback about that.
Other important considerations:
- The transitions are abrupt, but they won't be when I'm finished revising.
- Shiloh and Subria were just friends when he got involved with Arisleyda. I'm working on determining if they go to the same strict church, are from the same school/neighborhood or both.
- As a church boy, Shiloh is trying to avoid sexual intimacy until he's married, but struggles in his very strict household. He is losing resolve, but doesn't realize it.
- I need to change this so that Arisleyda and Shiloh go to the same school. Otherwise it won't make sense that she's on his senior trip. I'll change Lewis Hayden Academy to a co-ed school.
- I need to further develop Arisleyda's character. Right now, she just comes across as a vixen, but people are far more complex.
Check out these excerpts and feel free to share feedback with me:
January,
1996
The
academic expectations at Hayden Academy kept Shiloh at the library almost every
day after school. Thankfully his mom
worked there, and was an endless source of information. Unfortunately, a lot of students in the area
seemed to have the same idea on this particular day. It was hard for Shiloh to find a private
space.
"Excuse
me, do I know you?" a young lady asked Shiloh.
"I
don’t think so," he responded without making eye contact with her. He hated to be bothered when he was reading,
and he had come to the library specifically so he could have time to finish his
reading without interruption. After
about ten seconds, however, he could still feel her eyes on him. She wasn’t getting the hint. He didn’t want to be rude, so he finally
looked up at her and found that he didn’t mind the interruption after all.
"Don’t
you go to my school?" the girl asked.
"That’s
not possible," Shiloh said. "I
go to an all boy’s school."
"Oh,
my bad," she said, giggling and blushing.
"I’m
Shiloh Joseph," he said, extending his hand and smiling apologetically.
"Arisleyda
Colòn," she responded, shaking his hand and returning the smile. "It’s nice to meet you."
"Same
to you," Shiloh said.
"Can I
borrow some paper, please?" Arisleyda asked. "I forgot my notebook at home."
"Sure,"
he said, tearing out a couple of pages from his notebook along the perforated
edge. He pulled the remaining edges of
the paper out through the spiral, scrunched them up, and placed them on top of
the table.
"Thanks. You’re so organized," Arisleyda
commented.
"Thanks,"
Shiloh responded, and started to turn his back to her again to continue
reading.
"What
are you reading?" Arisleyda asked.
"Two Tickets to Freedom." He held up the book so she could see the
cover. When he saw the confused look on
her face, he continued, "It’s about William and Ellen Craft’s escape from
slavery."
"You
have to read it for school?" Arisleyda asked.
"No,"
Shiloh sighed, and smirked, "I’m reading it because I want to."
Arisleyda blushed. "Oh."
Lewis
Hayden Academy was a college preparatory school, and Shiloh had become
accustomed to having mentally stimulating conversations with his
classmates. He was surprised to hear
Arisleyda either downplaying her intelligence, or worse, feeling so free to
share that she didn’t read for pleasure.
Although she was cute, he wasn’t impressed.
"You
only read what’s assigned in school?" Shiloh asked, trying, unsuccessfully
not to sound judgmental.
"No,"
Arisleyda said, seemingly relieved at the opportunity to clarify what she
meant, "Just making conversation," she said, lying. "Where do you go to school?"
"Lewis
Hayden Academy," Shiloh responded.
"Wow,"
Arisleyda said. "You’re lucky."
"Well,
I don’t believe in luck, but getting into Hayden was definitely a good thing."
"Yeah,"
Arisleyda responded, caught off guard by his luck comment, but finding herself
more and more intrigued by Shiloh.
"Where
do you go?" Shiloh asked.
"A.
Philip Randolph High on W. 135th."
"My
brother went to that school."
"Really? That’s cool."
"Well,
it was nice to meet you, Arisleyda. I
really have to get back to my reading."
"It
was nice to meet you, too. Do you think
maybe I could call you sometime?"
"Sure,"
Shiloh responded, smiling.
Shiloh put
his book in his bag, and opened to a fresh page in his history notebook. He tore out a new sheet of paper from the
back of his notebook and wrote down his phone number for her.
***
Shiloh had
been really looking forward to the senior trip to Washington, DC. Not only was he looking forward to visiting
the Smithsonian to help with his research on the role of the quilt during the
time of the Underground Railroad, but his parents had been giving him so much
stress about dating Arisleyda that he couldn’t wait to spend some time with her
without their prying eyes.
"What
was your favorite exhibit?" Arisleyda asked Shiloh.
"L’Merchie Frazier’s quilt about
Martin Luther King, hands down," Shiloh responded (side note: I know and adore L'Merchie Frazier 😍. She was one of the facilitators of a week-long institute I participated in for two summers about Blacks in Boston and the Abolitionist Movement as a joint effort between Boston Public Schools, The Museum of African American History and Suffolk University).
Arisleyda took out the pamphlet they
had been given at the Smithsonian, and looked up the name. "Oh, it’s called From a Birmingham Jail: MLK."
That one was impressive."
After
dinner, Shiloh walked Arisleyda back to her room. Shiloh leaned in to kiss her on her
cheek. Arisleyda turned her head
slightly, and kissed him on the mouth.
Shiloh was surprised, and thought to pull away at first, but he was
unsuccessful. Her perfume wafted into
his nose as they continued to kiss, keeping him there. "You wanna come in?" Arisleyda
asked.
"Leydi,
you know I can’t do that," Shiloh said, weakly.
"Come
on Shiloh. I was supposed to room with Jemilexi,
but she got sick. No one's in
there. Just come in for a little
while. I promise I won’t bite,"
Arisleyda said, smiling, grabbing his hand, and pulling him into the room.
***
As much as
Shiloh hated his father’s lectures, as Shiloh left Arisleyda's room two hours
later, every word that he had spoken to him since he started dating her came
crashing down on him like an avalanche.
She knew exactly what she was doing.
He wondered if she was ever supposed to share a room with Jemilexi in
the first place. Shiloh started to feel
sick inside. He took his room key out of
his pocket, opened the door and headed straight for the bathroom.
"Is
everything okay, Shy?" Samuel asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
"Everything’s
fine," Shiloh lied.
"Are
you sure? Where have you been?"
"Sam,
I’m fine. Just leave me alone . . .
please!"
"Aiight,
man. I’m out here if you want to talk
about it."
Shiloh
looked at himself in the mirror, and he was disgusted with himself. He sat down on the edge of the tub, put his
head in his hands and cried, mourning the loss of his virginity.
"I’m
sorry, God. I’m so sorry."
***
The next
morning, the students packed up the bus, and they all headed for the
International House of Pancakes that was five minutes from the hotel in the
direction of the highway. When Shiloh
and Sam were together, they usually sat at the back of the bus, but he
intentionally asked Sam to sit in the front.
He didn’t want to risk seeing Arisleyda, and he knew she was already on
the bus. When Shiloh and Sam arrived at
the restaurant, they went inside quickly, and sat down together.
"You
ready to talk, man?" Sam asked.
"I
don’t know, Sam."
Arisleyda
came over to the table. "Hey, guys."
She said, looking directly at Shiloh. "How’s
everything?"
Shiloh
wouldn’t make eye contact with her, so Samuel said, "Good morning."
Arisleyda
noticed that Shiloh wasn’t looking at her.
"Okay, then. I’ll see you
both later."
"What’s
going on, Shy?" Sam asked, after Arisleyda walked away.
"I
messed up, Sam."
"Aw,
man, Shy."
"Yeah,
I know."
February, 1999
This was the first time in all his
life that Shiloh was not looking forward to his birthday. Everything had been tense in the city ever
since the police killed Amadou Diallo. Most
of the young Black men he knew were all on edge. It was hard not to be when an unarmed Black
man could get shot at 41 times because he "fit the description of a
rapist." It seemed like that was
always the case (side note: I wrote this scene so long ago, and now to Amadou Diallo's name, we can add Sean Bell, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, Walter Scott, Sandra Bland, and far too many others).
Growing up, Shiloh would always get
to stay home on his birthday, but this year, he’d be writing a take home essay
that wouldn't be given out until his birthday, and since it would be due the
following day, there was no getting around it.
But that wasn't for another couple of weeks. It was Friday, and at least he’d be able to
crash for the rest of the weekend.
Shiloh had really enjoyed his time
with Subria over Christmas break. She was very receptive to moving their
relationship more toward courting than what most people called dating. Neither one of them was completely sure how
things would change, besides not kissing anymore. They wouldn't be back together until the
summer, so they figured they'd just keep in touch by phone and email, and
figure the rest out when they saw each other again.
Shiloh walked into the
common room of his dorm and threw his book bag on the couch. None of his roommates were home yet, and he
was thankful for some alone time. He sat
on the couch and flicked on the television, and the weather forecaster was summing up
the forecast. Rain all weekend. Great.
He let out a long sigh and went into the kitchen to get some iced tea,
and to check for messages. That’s when
he saw it. The absolute last thing he
needed. Next to the church bulletin from
the previous Sunday was a message. The
message was scrawled in his roommate Hasaan’s chicken scratch, but Shiloh had
learned to decipher it, though now he wished he couldn’t.
Arisleyda called. She wants you to
call her. We’ll talk later.
His mind raced. Should he call her back now, later, or not at
all? He had promised himself that he
would stop putting things off, because procrastination had ruled his life in the
past, and never did him any good.
Arisleyda was persistent, and if he didn’t call her back, she’d keep
calling until she got through to him, so the "not at all" option was,
in fact, not an option. Shiloh looked at
the message, and didn't recognize the area code, so he figured she had gone to
school out of state. He picked up the
phone and dialed the number on the paper.
Two rings. She usually picked up the phone by the third
ring. Four rings. Maybe she’s not home . . .
"Hello?" came the sultry
voice from the other end of the line.
"Hey, Arisleyda. It’s Shiloh."
"Oh, hi Shiloh." He could almost see her grin over the
phone. Ear to ear.
"How are you?"
Shiloh asked.
"Good. I’m just getting back from my last class of
the day," Arisleyda said. "I
almost missed you. How are you?"
"Tired. I had a long week. I got a message here saying that you called,"
Shiloh said, attempting to move the conversation along.
"What, no small talk?"
Arisleyda flirted.
"I don’t mean to be
impolite, but I have a lot to do," Shiloh explained.
"No worries. I just have a question to ask."
Shiloh’s stomach
dropped. He thought these days were
over.
"What’s up?"
Shiloh asked, with his eyes squeezed shut, one hand holding the receiver, the
other cradling his forehead.
"Well, I have to come
to New York to interview for an internship, and since my family moved, I don’t
have anywhere to stay."
This is a test of the Holy Spirit broadcasting system . . .
"You don’t have any
family left in the city?" Shiloh inquired.
"Well, I have some
people out in Queens, but I wanted to stay in the city. I don’t want to have to make this long
commute on the morning of my interview."
"No friends you can
stay with?" Shiloh asked, hoping.
"I thought I was calling
a friend," Arisleyda said, sarcastically.
"You know what I mean,
Arisleyda. No female friends?"
"Shy, the interview is
in the Village, and you’re right there.
Plus it would be nice to see you again.
I don’t like how we left things."
In the case of an emergency, this system will broadcast to
help you make wise choices.
"When is your
interview?" Shiloh asked, sighing.
Arisleyda was nonplussed.
"February 26th." Of course it had to be the day before his
birthday. How convenient.
"I really think it would
be better if you found someplace else to stay," Shiloh said.
Okay, doing well. Doing well . . .
"Shiloh, come on. Your school has those big dorm rooms,"
Arisleyda said, almost pleading. Shiloh
wondered how she knew how big the dorm rooms were at his school. She was so shady. "I can just sleep on the couch, right?"
she continued. "It’ll just be for
like one night. I’ll come in on
Thursday, the interview will be on Friday, and I’ll leave Friday night."
Leaving on his
birthday? Hmm. That didn't sound too bad. If she were trying something, she probably
would have mentioned his birthday.
Shiloh's mind was reeling. His
palms were sweating. He was steadily
weakening . . .
"I guess it should be
fine," Shiloh finally said, giving in.
Alert! Alert!
"Okay, thanks so
much. I can’t wait to see you!"
Arisleyda said, gleefully.
***
The phone rang again a few
hours after Shiloh got off the phone with Arisleyda. He was hesitant to answer it, but he did
anyway.
"Hello?" Shiloh
asked, hesitantly.
"Hey, Shy," Subria
said, cheerfully.
"Subria," Shiloh
responded, wincing at the guilty feelings that flooded him when he heard her
voice. "How are you?"
"I’m good. How are you?" Subria asked.
"I’m great,"
Shiloh responded.
"Guess what?"
Subria asked.
"What?"
"I can come home for
spring break! Isn’t that great?"
"Really?" Shiloh
responded, as a sickening knot developed in his stomach.
"Yeah, I thought it
would be nice to hang out with you for your birthday."
"Oh, that’s so sweet,
Subria, but I’m really swamped at school.
It wouldn’t be the best time for you to come," Shiloh responded.
"Oh," Subria said,
her excitement leaving her like the air from a punctured balloon. "I mean, I wasn’t planning on taking up
a lot of your time or anything. I just
wanted to take you out to dinner. It is
on a Saturday, after all!"
"Yeah, I really
can’t. I’m sorry," Shiloh said.
"That’s okay. I guess I can just stay around my
campus. It’s no big deal."
"I should go now, but
it was great to hear your voice!" Shiloh said.
"Yeah, sure,"
Subria said with a sharp tone. "See
you later."
***
Subria had never been one to
take no for an answer, so she came up for spring break anyway to surprise
Shiloh for his birthday. After she got
over her initial angry feelings, Subria realized that Shiloh actually sounded
sad on the phone, and she had always been able to cheer him up before. She transferred from the J train at Fulton
Street for the A train at Broadway-Nassau, and she stopped by a florist near
the West 4th Street train station to pick up some red roses for
him. Those were his favorite
flowers.
Subria continued over to
Goddard Hall on Washington Square East, but when she got there and called up
for Shiloh, he wasn’t there. That’s what
she was afraid of. She couldn’t be
allowed up to his suite without what they called a "resident host." Thankfully, his other roommate, Malachi was
there and said he’d come down to let Subria in.
"Hey, Malachi,"
Subria said, as she embraced him. She
passed her ID to the security guard.
"Hey. How are you?"
"Good. Is he in class?" Subria asked, as
Malachi walked with her over to the elevator.
"Yeah, he should be
back soon," Malachi responded.
"I wanted to surprise
him for his birthday," Subria said, smiling.
"He’ll be surprised all
right," Malachi said, making a strange face.
Just as the elevator
arrived, Malachi heard someone call him from the front desk. He turned around to acknowledge the person,
and Subria saw all the color drain from his face. She recognized the girl from pictures. She had seen these pictures year ago, but it
was impossible for Subria to forget her face.
"Malachi. Hold on," Arisleyda called.
"Are you going to sign
her in, too?" the security guard asked.
"I don’t think so,"
Malachi said, looking confused. "What
are you doing back here?" Subria
couldn’t help but take notice of the word back.
"I forgot something
upstairs," Arisleyda said. "I
won’t stay, I promise. Will you sign me
in?"
"Come on," Malachi
said begrudgingly, and nodded at the security guard.
"Hello," Arisleyda
said, directing her greeting to Subria as she joined them at the elevator. "Arisleyda," she added, extending
her hand.
"Hi. Sorry I can’t shake your hand," Subria
said, motioning to the bags in her hands.
"I’m Subria."
"Oh," Arisleyda
said, as if having an epiphany. "You’re
Subria. It’s nice to meet you."
"Thanks," Subria
said, knowing she was being rude, but not really caring.
"I’ve heard lots of
great things about you," Arisleyda continued. "You’re a lucky girl."
"Shiloh’s the lucky
one," Malachi said, as they boarded the elevator.
Subria was dying to ask
Arisleyda what she was doing there, but she didn’t want to give her the
satisfaction of knowing how much her presence was bothering her. She knew Malachi would explain things once Arisleyda left anyway. She couldn’t imagine
any explanation that would calm the rage that was building inside her. It all became clear. This is why Shiloh didn’t want her to visit.
After Arisleyda picked up
whatever she left, Subria stayed around for a while as Malachi tried to explain
things to her, but after about half an hour, she said goodbye to Malachi and
went back to her house mourning the loss of the relationship she thought she
knew so well.
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